Let's see now where were we...
Paul told you?!
He says you're crazy about me!
Oh, yeah...
Love.
Once upon a time, it was...simple.
If you liked somebody,
And if you didn't...
You let 'em know.
One way or another, you knew where you stood.
But as you get older, communication gets more...
Complicated.
I told you - I never want to speak to you again!
Let me explain that.
See, I knew Winnie was crazy about me.
She'd said so to Paul.
But for some reason, now, she was having
trouble saying exactly how she felt.
You're rude, insensitive, thoughtless, and smug!
There! See what I mean?
She didn't really mean it.
Don't ask me - I got problems of my own.
Carla!
Things were grim.
Paul and I had been set adrift in a leaky boat on the sea of love...
Or something like that.
In honor of this very special day...
We're all going to make some little valentines.
Now, you'll need construction paper...
glitter...and doilies.
Actually what we needed were enlistment papers for the Foreign Legion.
Man...you guys are pathetic!
Look at you!
Tearin' your guts out over a couple of chicks.
What do you know about it, Hobson?
I know a few things about women.
You should do what I do.
Forget 'em.
Heh-heh.
If I could just get her to talk to me.
I mean, it's just a...misunderstanding, right?
Paul?
What's that?
A valentine - for Carla.
Come on, Paul - this isn't kindergarten.
You got any better ideas?
No...but that'll never work.
Oh, Paul!
This is the sweetest thing!
Like I said - pathetic!
Look at 'em!
It's embarrassing!
Yep. But effective.
Gimme a pen!
Oh, no, not you too?!
Look, just gimme a pen!
Should have known.
Maybe...
But least now I was a doofus with a plan.
All I needed was a little privacy.
A little peace and quiet in which to think.
To ponder. To let the poetry in my soul run free.
It was going to be my greatest literary effort.
Dear valentine.
Please forgive me.
Love, Kevin.
Hey, give me a break - I was only thirteen.
Now all that remained was to give my heart to Winnie...
and let poetry do the rest.
Is there something I can do for you, Kevin?
I need to talk to Winnie.
I'm sorry, but that won't be possible.
I just have to explain...!
Gwendolyn doesn't want to speak to you right now. I hope I made myself clear.
Hmmm. It made you wonder if Longfellow ever ran into anything like this.
There was only one thing to do. Pull rank.
- Hey, you!
Yeah. You a seventh-grader?
Yessir.
I skipped a grade.
Well, I need you to do something for me.
Well, I'm a little late for archery practice.
It'll just take a second. Here.
Slip this in the third locker from the end down there. Left of the stairs.
Yessir.
And don't let anyone see you!
Yes, sir!
Yep - when there's a will, there's a way.
Heh-heh. Any minute now.
Hey...
Hey!
No!
I said left of the stairs!
This is left, sir!
No, it's not!
Yes it is!
Like, see...
And...this my left. And.....
Never mind...
We have to get it back!
I don't think we can, sir.
I gotta get to archery class...sorry.
OK - no reason to panic.
Aw, what did I have to worry about, really?
you let 'em know.
Did she?
She's never gonna fall for that.
Am I the last man left?
You're just as much of a doofus as he is.
- Me?
Got it?
I'm the stairs...
Besides...
I-I could handle this.